There is something horrible and unappealing about the word divorcée. A divorcée is, of course, a divorced woman. Is there an equivalent word for a divorced man? Yes. Apparently it’s divorcé. But you never really hear that, do you? That’s why I had to look it up just now. Personally, when I hear the word divorcée, it brings to mind an image of some dour, chain-smoking, weepy woman holding a glass of wine, staring out a window. And THAT image brings to mind someone who writes poetry. In short, the stereotypical divorcée is the worst person on the planet, because I hate poetry.
But is it true? Are divorcées so horrible? We’d like to think not. That’s why we’re going to dispel some unflattering myths about divorcées.
MYTH 1: Divorcées drink a lot of white wine.
FACT: Divorcées drink a lot of everything. Most anything you put in front of them, really.
MYTH 2: Divorcées are angry.
FACT: ALL WOMEN are angry. Have you ever met a woman? Was she angry about something? Exactly.
MYTH 3: Divorcées spend a lot of time smoking and making horrible analogies for relationships.
FACT: Nope. Common misconception. You’re thinking of Sarah Jessica Parker’s character on Sex in the City. And you’re right. She is horrible.
MYTH 4: A divorcée’s tail is about half as long as her body.
FACT: Nope. Common misconception. You’re thinking of tigers.