There is something horrible and unappealing about the word divorcée. A divorcée is, of course, a divorced woman. Is there an equivalent word for a divorced man? Yes. Apparently it’s divorcé. But you never really hear that, do you? That’s why I had to look it up just now. Personally, when I hear the word divorcée, it brings to mind an image of some dour, chain-smoking woman holding a glass of wine and taring out a window. And THAT image brings to mind someone who teaches 4th grade and I HATED my 4th grade teacher.
But is it true? Are divorcées so horrible? We’d like to think not. That’s why we’re going to dispel some unflattering myths about divorcées.
MYTH 1: Divorcées drink a lot of white wine.
FACT: Divorcées drink a lot of everything. Most anything you put in front of them, really.
MYTH 2: Divorcées are angry.
FACT: ALL WOMEN are angry. Have you ever met a woman? Was she angry about something? Exactly.
MYTH 3: Divorcées spend a lot of time smoking and making horrible analogies for relationships.
FACT: Nope. Common misconception. You’re thinking of Sarah Jessica Parker’s character on Sex in the City. And you’re right. She is horrible.
MYTH 4: A divorcée’s tail is about half as long as her body.
FACT: Nope. Common misconception. You’re thinking of tigers.
I would like to leave a snappy, witty comment, but there isn’t much I can say that would fool a sharp, discriminating lady, who has probably heard it all.
As a divorced guy, I’ve also wondered what the male equivalent word would be. The first word that always pops into my head is divorcer, which sounds kind of sinister, but could actually make for a pretty good title of a terrible action movie about a guy who goes around leaving his wives all the time. Maybe Sylvester Stallone or Charles Bronson as the lead role? I think it could be a hit.