Everyone Gets Divorced

Today, we were just sitting here, thinking how lucky we are to be divorced. And how we’re in such good company because Charlize Theron, arguably, the most perfect woman on the planet, is also divorced. She’s beautiful! Flawless! Talented! Smart! But then we realized, that while she is all those things, she is not, TECHNICALLY, divorced. Apparently, she’s so smart, she never actually married her long-time partner. So, we thought, maybe we’re not in SUCH good company.

Disgusting.

But surely there are other perfect women who are divorced! But sadly, for us, Natalie Portman is not divorced either. (Yet.)

Fine, we say. They don’t have to be perfect. So we consulted the Maxim Hot 100 list. And you’ll be pleased to know there is no shortage of hot divorced women. We’ve got Olivia Wilde, for one. We then learned that Emmy Rossum is divorced, which came as something of a shock, because we were both under the impression that Emmy Rossum is 12. It turns out she is 25, but married a music executive when she was 21. And tragically, it did not work out. And that got our science brains thinking…

So using our brains and Wikipedia, we have detected some patterns.

We bring you: FORMULAS FOR DIVORCE.