It’s one of the greatest concerns for couples contemplating divorce. What about the kids? Should we stay together for the kids? There’s no easy answer. But the answer is no. You need not stay together for the kids. Even if you read a really idiotic article on say, The Huffington Post, that says getting a divorce will ruin your children’s lives.
Getting a divorce is never the ideal situation. You didn’t plan on it. But it does happen. A lot. But you’ll survive and so will your kids. We’re not suggesting that you shouldn’t try and make your marriage work for the sake of your family. But sometimes, it’s not a matter of trying. Don’t beat yourself up over it.
We know it hurts. We’ve heard the stories. “My kids cried all night!” “The kids were furious with me.” “They will never forgive me!”
But look at it this way.
Kids are jerks.
No, we know. You love your kids. They’re precious. They make life worth living. But we’re here to say, that they can still be real jerks. Some of the authors of this website will admit to being a real jerk up to the age of 25. At least.
So, sure, if you decide you need to separate or get a divorce, your kids will be upset. But kids get upset all the time. You can wait. You can wait until they’re out of the house. But guess what? They’ll still be upset. Isn’t it better to get that upset out of the way earlier? And maybe by the time they’re nice, reasonable adults, they’ll have stopped being upset.
So don’t feel like a terrible person if your kids cry when you tell them the news. To put it in perspective, here are some other things that kids cry about.
My son cries when I make him use the potty. So I take him upside down. Then he laughs. He cries when I make him take a bath as well. Until I ask him what toys he wants to put in the bathtub. Then, he’s cool.
Just the other day, I cried while using the potty. I’m not really ready to discuss the details yet.