DEAD
adjective
1. a word that describes what happened to your spouse when you’re not in the mood to explain your divorce/separation
Usage:
- “Where’s your husband?”
“Oh, he’s dead.” - “Where’s your wife?”
“Well, she couldn’t make it, because she’s dead.” - “Are you interested in taking a couples’ cruise in January?”
“I think we might both be dead by then, but thanks.”
Everyone Gets Divorced 
My friends and I like to use the term “hit by a bus” when referencing an item the ex got in the divorce.
Example:
“The vacuum got hit by a bus.”