Divorce Haikus

When you’re going through a divorce, or any breakup, you’re probably going to have a lot of feelings. You could write in a journal. And we’ve already talked about the healing properties of divorce art. But it’s much easier and sillier to write a haiku. It’s like poetry for the supremely lazy person!

Here are some examples to get you started.

Ex-husband’s new wife:
Might be younger and thinner
But God, is she dumb.

Dear Alimony,
Why are you called that? Should be
All-of-his-money

We had our good days
For example, this one time…
On second thought, no

True, I said “I do”
And lots of people heard me.
Guess what? I don’t care.

You are so lucky
I was ever seen with you
Ludicrous haircut

You were so boring
So boring boring boring
Yawn yawn yawn yawn yawn

Try writing some of your own if you have 30 seconds to spare. It’s fun!

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10 thoughts on “Divorce Haikus

  1. Cindy Garcia says:

    You told me one time
    You weren’t good enough for me
    I believe it now

  2. Andrew Moore says:

    Her friends are all drunks
    Says she can control her thirst
    But not the cookies

  3. Mark Burns says:

    I see you drivin’
    Round’ town with the girl I love
    And I’m like, “Haiku”.

  4. Mark Burns says:

    Okay, I’ll be seriouser this time:

    Someone once told me:
    “The grass ain’t always greener!”
    It is half the time.

  5. Mark Burns says:

    ‘Til death do us part?
    I wanted to keep my vows,
    Hit men cost too much.

  6. Mark Burns says:

    I can’t take credit for the first one. #2 and #3 are originals.

    Sleepless in Bagram
    Not as good as “Seattle”
    Please validate me.

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