Q: I have a friend who occasionally makes derogatory comments about “divorcees.” I’ve been divorced and it kind of offends me. Should I say something?
A: That depends. One possible explanation is that your friend has actually forgotten about your divorce, which means you’re doing a pretty good job of acting like a normal person. In this case, say nothing! You’re passing! DON’T BLOW IT.
Another explanation is that your friend is a jerk. If you suspect this is the case, go ahead and say something like, “Nice haircut, jerk.” (That will cut them right to the core.) And then get some new friends.
If you’re just looking to raise awareness about divorcees, consider starting a blog about divorce. That’s the best way to remind people that you’ve been divorced.
Oh, and one last thing. Don’t start a blog about divorce.
If your friend doesn’t know you are divorced, you could say “hey you probably didn’t know this but I am divorced. I know that you know relationships are complicated and why relationships end is not a simple answer. I just wanted you to know that.” If this friendship is important to you, honesty is part of what will make it authentic. Try not to judge your friend, sometimes people just don’t realize what they say is hurtful. She probably didn’t even know.