Category Archives: Next time

Finding “the one”

Here at EGD we talk a lot about divorce. Mostly because we paid real money for a web address with the word “divorced” in it. But what we don’t talk about often enough is finding the perfect man or woman for a potential successful marriage (be it your 2nd, 3rd, or 4th attempt at such a thing). A marriage that might actually not end in divorce. We know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking: BUT EVERYONE GETS DIVORCED. That’s true in almost every situation. But there are some freaks out there. For example, both of us have sets of parents that are still married and have been basically forever. We’re pretty sure they’re lying to us because we did some math and their claims seem scientifically impossible. We’re also both nearly convinced that we’re adopted because we are so much more attractive than our brothers, but that’s a story for another website we might buy one day.

We wanted to put together a simple list for you, our fans, that would help you know if your new boyfriend or girlfriend is…”THE ONE.”  (Well…”the one” after the last “one.”)

Here’s what it boils down to:

1) If you need to Google whether or not you should marry someone, don’t marry them. If you have to use a Magic Eight ball, that’s fine. That’s a completely different thing.

2) Marry almost ANY person who learned to play golf, polo, or who dabbled in fencing when they were a child. This person is what we call “rich.”

3) Do not marry a person who uses the word “dabbled.” This person is smug and thinks they’re better than you.

4) If, when looking at your boyfriend/girlfriend, you begin to feel that the babies you might one day create together will be too ugly for you to love unconditionally… the two of you shouldn’t get married.

5) And under NO circumstances should you ever agree to marry a person who– if offered three wishes– would not use one of those wishes to gain the power of flight.

There is something fundamentally wrong with a person like that.

funny divorce blog

Always marry a doctor. You shouldn’t even have to ask.


Your Next Ring

Ever since we posted about the great fun you can have with ring money, we’ve come to accept that many of you find it much more satisfying to, say, flush a ring down the toilet than to pawn it for jelly bean money.  And you know what? Fine. Whatever makes you happy.  Personally, lottery tickets and candy make us happy, but that’s just us.

But, regardless of how you disposed of the last ring, it’s time to start thinking about the next ring. Maybe you’ve sworn off marriage forever. Again, that’s fine. But here are some ideas for the rest of you “try, try again” people.

The mantra for a second (or third, or fourth) marriage is: THINGS ARE GOING TO BE DIFFERENT. It’s a good one. And it applies to spouses and rings, alike. Both the person you marry and the ring you wear should be distinctly different from what you had the last time around. For instance:

  • If you had a very traditional ring, choose something less traditional.
  • If you had something engraved in the band, maybe… don’t do that again. (It’s probably bad luck.)
  • If you had a colored stone, definitely go with a new color this time.
  • In general, just think outside the box.

Speaking of thinking outside the box, have you seen this story about the guy who made an engagement ring out of a meteorite?  Well done, guy.  Very impressive. But here are some things that would be EVEN MORE IMPRESSIVE.


  • Strawberry ice cream
  • Mint chocolate chip ice cream
  • Coffee ice cream
  • Chocolate chocolate chip ice cream
  • Caramel ribbon ice cream
  • A soft pretzel

Any of those would make a great story.

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