Being Embarrassed

A lot of people are embarrassed to admit that they’ve been divorced. But the fact of the matter is, it’s really not interesting enough to be embarrassing. People get divorced all the goddamn time. By our math, 100 percent of all people will get divorced at least four times in their lifetime. So what’s the big deal? Life is full of far greater embarrassments than “failing at marriage.”

To prove this point, here’s a list of really embarrassing things that may or may not have happened to us.


1. Failing fourth grade math.

2. Finding out, after the fact, that you’ve had spinach in your teeth for the WHOLE MEAL.

3. Going to the doctor to give a urine sample and then spilling your urine sample on someone from your high school.

4. Going to a concert, and then, even though you’ve already had dinner and a post-dinner “tater tot course,” excusing yourself to go to the bathroom, but instead of going to the bathroom, buying a slice of pepperoni pizza which you eat in secret.

5. Going to the dentist to get X-rays, and then as the dentist is putting the X-ray thingy in the far-back part of your mouth, vomiting all over said dentist’s hand and arm.

6. Marrying that guy with that haircut.

divorce jokes

You should be ashamed of yourself.

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