Category Archives: The Internet

Another FYI (if you’re a teenage girl)

Dear girls,

We have some information that might interest you. Last night, as we sometimes do, our blog family sat around the blogging-room table and looked through the summer’s viral internet sensations.

We found this blog by one Mrs. Hall. In it, she makes clear the irreparable damage you’ve done by posting pictures of yourselves on the internet in “various stages of undress.”

We don’t know when Mrs. Hall, or any moms, started using words like “selfie” but, we find it kind of funny. And a little gross. But we’re from a younger blogging generation and we notice things like that. Anyway, that’s not the point.

Here’s the bit that we think is important for you to realize.  The Halls are creepy weirdos.

Please know that we actually agree with crazy ol’ Mrs. Hall, to an extent.

Which is what makes her maniac blog post so extremely unfortunate.

We think that teenage girls are probably well-advised to keep their online personalities somewhere in the PG to PG-13 range. But, not because of people like the Halls and their zero tolerance policy for anything they deem inappropriate.  Not because someone might be having a family meeting where your peers, and their moms, and their dads, are looking through all your pictures on Facebook, deciding whether the arch of your back or bra-lessness is indecent.

The Halls don’t want their teenage boys seeing you in a towel.  Now, we even agree that you might want to avoid posting pictures of yourself in a towel on the internet. (However,  we’re not ruling out the possibility that a tasteful towel pic might exist.)

But, according to Mrs. Hall, once a male sees you in a state of undress, he can’t  un-see it.  But did you know that once a male sees you in a state of complete dress, he can still imagine what you might look like undressed?  And he will.  Ohhh, will he ever!

Especially if he is the type of male who has parents that sit around the dinner table, poring over his Facebook, and Twitter, and Instagram accounts, systematically weeding out the posts that are too sexual.

We think you should use common sense.  Don’t be gross. But if you went to the beach, and you want to post pictures of yourself in a bikini, do so.  (You are young and taut and have most of the rest of your life to be ashamed of what you look like in a bikini.)  But if you do post a picture of yourself, no matter how scantily clad, you are not responsible for the moral decline of teenage boys across the country.  The amount of clothing that you wear does not have any impact on the integrity of males around the world.

We understand your desire to be beautiful. And sexy. That’s what women do. We all want to look good in pictures. Even good Christian mothers like Mrs. Hall want to be sexy.

You should try and have some self-respect. But it’s not your job to keep the minds of teenage boys pure.  That is not your battle.

And try not to think about Mr. Hall looking at pictures of you where you might not be wearing a bra. Don’t be decent for other people’s dads. Be decent for your own dad. He’ll appreciate it.

Jessica and Jeanne

advice to teenage girls

Hussy.

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Facebook Causes Divorce

By now, we’ve all heard that Facebook pretty much causes everyone to get divorced.  Or something like that.  And it’s not hard to believe, when you think about it.  In the olden days, if you wanted to catch your spouse cheating, you had to do a lot of legwork.  Those were the days of sitting in the dark in a parked car, waiting for your husband to emerge from a local motel with lipstick on his collar and an off-kilter necktie.  You had to look for real clues.  Break into a briefcase or two. Or wait for them to really slip up.

Nowadays, you don’t even have to leave the comfort of your almost broken home!  Just wait for your spouse to fall asleep and then go bananas on their computer! Email, internet history, Facebook, Amazon orders, whatever!  The thing is, you don’t even have to wait around for them to cheat on you.  Facebook spying really lets you nip it in the bud.  Oh, you “poked” your high school girlfriend?  I’M CALLING A LAWYER.

Anyway, the point is, Facebook is, indeed, a slippery slope for marriages on the rocks.  But did you know that it’s not the only website that is ruining our lives?  We did some of our own research here at EGD and found a few other websites commonly cited in divorce proceedings.

The Top 7 Websites Making People Get Divorced:

1. Facebook

2. www.americasgottalentauditions.com

3. Bing

4. 1-800-PetMeds

5. www.jerryspringertv.com/be-on-the-show

6. http://www.everyonegetsdivorced.com

7. Myspace

Thanks a lot, home wrecker.

Thanks a lot, home wrecker.

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