Nothing Helps: Tips on Combatting Divorce-Related Depression

If we know one thing here at EGD, it’s that nachos are the greatest food ever invented ever.  However, if we know one MORE thing, it’s that getting divorced is terrible and nothing anyone says or does is going to make you feel better.  That’s just the way it is.  But your friends, god bless ’em, will still try.  No one likes to see you so sad.  It’s depressing.  We can’t even see you and it’s depressing.  We can just feel the depressing mopey energy coming through our computers.  That is how BLOGS WORK.

Anyhow, we say all this, because we, too, are your friends.  And we know that even though nothing is going to make you happy right now, it’s still worth a shot.  We want to make you happy, so we’re going to throw a bunch of ideas at you.  Most likely, they will all make you mad or sad or a frightening combination of the two.  But you never know.  Maybe, just maybe, something someone says actually WILL help.  But probably not.   Just hang in there, kitty on a tree branch.

SOME DUMB SUGGESTIONS FOR COPING WITH DEPRESSION:

1. Call a friend.  I mean, obviously, right?  But do it. Don’t just cry in bed.  Cry on the phone.  Or over Skype.  Or even in person.  Have lunch.  Have lunch with drinks.

2. Get some exercise.  I know – it is the WORST.  But allegedly, it helps people.  Even sad, pathetic people like you.  Tip from Jeanne: Set an attainable goal of 30 minutes, doing something easy.  Then just quit after 22 minutes.

3. Punch a pillow.  It sounds SUPER DUMB but of all the things you want to punch it is the least likely to get your arrested.  It is still possible to get arrested, especially if you are making a big pillow-punching scene in a Pier 1 Imports.

4. Keep a journal.  Even though everything about your life is terrible, try and write 5 things that you are grateful for.  (Hint: Nachos, nachos, nachos, nachos, and nachos.)

5. Just go to the pound and get a new spouse that looks exactly like the old one.

These potential new husbands have had all their shots.

These potential new husbands have had all their shots.

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4 thoughts on “Nothing Helps: Tips on Combatting Divorce-Related Depression

  1. Jacinda Johnson says:

    TIME. Stay separated about a year, year and a half…you’ll be ready to be rid of their @$$.

  2. Kay H says:

    I love the get a new spouse suggestion! LOL. I have a dog and she’s my best friend. Also the husband behind my husband’s affair. She ate his hat. True story. http://dowehavetotellthekids.blogspot.com/2013/04/the-hat-story.html

  3. Kay H says:

    The husband behind my husband’s affair? I might be a little distracted. Divorce does that to you. My dog is the REASON behind my husband’s affair.

  4. Tracy says:

    Nachos are great. But ranch dressing is actually the perfect food. Fact.

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