Everyone Gets Divorced

When you begin dating, you might wonder when and how you should tell your date about your sordid marital past.   Don’t worry about it.  It isn’t hard to tell someone you’ve been married or divorced (probably both).  It will come up.

Real advice: Just mention it and move on.  You’re even allowed to joke about it.  There’s nothing wrong with keeping it light. And your date will find you more attractive because you won’t be putting them in an uncomfortable position.  Also, because being divorced actually makes you 33% more attractive.

WHAT YOU CAN SAY:

You’re divorced (no kids):

“I was married once.  It didn’t take.”

You’re divorced (with kids):

Bring up kids. “Do you want kids someday?”

(If they say yes):  “Me too. Also today.  Because I have some.”

(If they say no):  “Me neither.  But I have some.”

You’re divorced (a few times):

Just list “getting divorced” among your hobbies.

Ex. “I like pottery, horses, reality TV, and divorcing.”

You’re divorcing (but still technically married):

“By the way, I’m still married, but that should be cleared up in a few months.”

You’re on your honeymoon (not going well):

“Well, I have to do this couple’s massage with my husband/wife at 3.  Want to meet for a couple’s massage at 5?”

“These are good mozzarella sticks. More flavorful than the ones at my first wedding.”