Feel free to send us questions. We have all the answers. Like this:
Q: Jessica and Jeanne, I just got divorced and I’ve had this slice of our wedding cake in the freezer for over 4 years. I guess we forgot to take it out on our first anniversary. I feel like I can’t get rid of it. What’s wrong with me?
A: Everything.
But to elaborate, think of it this way. You put that cake in your freezer because someone told you that it’s a tradition. And, like most traditions, it makes absolutely no sense. What better way to celebrate a year of marriage than by eating an old, defrosted dessert? Anyhow, you still have it. And it’s taking up valuable space in your freezer. Stop thinking of the sentimental implications. If nothing else, can’t you use more freezer space?? You could be storing frozen pizza or frozen egg rolls or bottles of gin in there! Just get rid of it and buy a new piece of cake for eating.
And if you’re looking for a more creative way to dispose of it, feed it to some ducks.
Fun fact about ducks: Ducks are generally monogamous. However, this bond usually only lasts about a year. So maybe, just maybe, you and the duck are not so different after all.
Disgusting.
Everyone Gets Divorced 