Tag Archives: stupid syrup

The Worst State

We’ve already told you about the best state for getting divorced. New Hampshire is over there, (up there?) practically BEGGING you to end your marriage. But what about the flip side?  What’s the worst state for getting a divorce?

divorce humor

Vermont. FIGURES.

That’s right. Don’t listen to Ben and/or Jerry. Vermont is a horrible place that wants you to be miserable. The minimum processing time for a divorce in Vermont is 450 days. 450 days?!!! By our math, that’s even more than a year. (Don’t hold us to our math.)  And they have a bunch of other annoying things like mandatory separation and waiting periods before the divorce can be FINAL.

Which brings us to our point. MAPLE SYRUP IS THE WORST.

YES, YES. It’s FINE on pancakes. SURE.  But god.  Other than that, what’s the point?

REASONS WHY WE HATE MAPLE SYRUP, AND THEREFORE, VERMONT:

1. It’s so STICKY.

2. It’s just too STICKY.

3. Have you ever accidentally put your elbow in maple syrup? That’s the WORST.

4. Your hands get sticky.  And then you’re really no better than a toddler.

5. TOO SWEET.

So, thanks for nothing, VERMONT.  Not only do you make it really hard to get a divorce, but you make our hands sticky.

(By the way, if you’re currently unhappily married in Vermont, you might want to consider telling your spouse that you’d be interested in making a move to New Hampshire. We hear it’s nice.)

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