Here at EGD, we like to see how you, people of the internet, are finding our website. Many of you find us by googling a phrase or question. We see what you’re googling and we pay special attention to these search terms, because we want to know what’s on your mind. That’s why we’re going to address some of your internet search terms directly. You have questions and you deserve answers.
You searched: “How come everyone gets divorced?”
ANSWER: El Nino.
You searched: “What’s the point of marriage if everyone gets divorced anyway?”
You searched: “Is trapper joe divorced?”
ANSWER: We don’t know who or what that is, but probably.
You searched: “Can a job not hire you because you’re divorced?”
ANSWER: Yes. Absolutely. In fact, they are often forbidden from hiring you. Or at least, we assume that’s why we’re both unemployable.
You searched: “No one wants to hear about my divorce.”
ANSWER: Correct! You get a gold star, person of the internet!
You searched: “How long did you cry over your divorce?”
ANSWER: It was pretty long but not as long as I cried after I accidentally killed a lightning bug that got stuck in my hair.
You searched: “the dogs of divorce”
ANSWER: Yes, we do sell a dogs of divorce calendar. It will be available for Christmas 2012.
You searched: “How do you react when they say no?”
ANSWER: We don’t know what you’re asking them, but we can still answer with the utmost confidence that you should hold your breath until you get what you want.
You searched: “Flag.”
ANSWER: Yes, totally. Flag.