Monthly Archives: April 2012

Built For One

After a breakup, it’s natural to feel like you’re the odd man out. Everywhere you look, couples are holding hands, sharing milkshakes, and riding tandem bikes. But it’s important to remember, there are still a lot of things that are best enjoyed solo.

THINGS THAT ARE PRIMARILY BUILT FOR ONE:

  • MOST bicycles
  • A full-sized bed
  • Bathtub
  • Segway
  • Loveseat (ironic!)
  • A bottle of wine
  • Any frozen entree that purports to be a meal for 2
  • Bottle of gin
Everyone Gets Divorced

You’re supposed to share this? Right. And I’m only going to eat 1/3 of this frozen pizza.

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Communicating With Your Spouse

Sometimes, you need to have a frank discussion about the state of your marriage. But often, it’s hard to find the words. Here are a few ideas to get the ball rolling!

divorce humor

divorce humor

divorce humor

everyone gets divorced

Jessica Schlegel

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Signs Your Marriage May be in Trouble

Sometimes, it’s easy to overlook the subtle signs that point toward trouble in a relationship. But it’s important that you pay attention to the little things. Actions often speak louder than words. Changes in your partner’s behavior may be an indication that something is wrong. Watch out for these warning signs.

1. He’s started sleeping fully clothed.
2. He’s started sleeping farther away on the bed.
3. He’s started sleeping on a different schedule.
4. He’s started sleeping in a separate room.
5. He tried to kill you.

WORD OF THE DAY: Used to

USED TO

phrase

  1. an auxiliary used to express a loss of property, resulting from a breakup, without explicity referencing said breakup
  2. also applies to (embarrassing) activities and behaviors that existed in a past relationship but do not continue into the present

Usage:

“I used to have a pizza stone.”

“I used to have the complete series of The Wire on dvd.”

“I used to take salsa dancing.”

Reasons to Get Married: A List

Bad Reasons to Get Married:

  • It’s just what people DO at your age
  • You’ve been dating the same person for x years and people want to know when you’re going to get married
  • Because you’re already practically married, so what’s the difference?
  • Because you found the perfect wedding dress and it looks really good on you
  • Because your younger sister/younger brother is already married
  • To get health benefits
  • To get a toaster oven (you already have one, but like, a nice toaster oven)
  • To get matchbooks with your name on them

Good Reasons to Get Married:

  • Green Card
  • Actually, that toaster oven one wasn’t so bad, was it?
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