Everyone Gets Divorced

Sometimes, it’s easy to overlook the subtle signs that point toward trouble in a relationship. But it’s important that you pay attention to the little things. Actions often speak louder than words. Changes in your partner’s behavior may be an indication that something is wrong. Watch out for these warning signs.

1. He’s started sleeping fully clothed.
2. He’s started sleeping farther away on the bed.
3. He’s started sleeping on a different schedule.
4. He’s started sleeping in a separate room.
5. He tried to kill you.

Bad Reasons to Get Married:

• It’s just what people DO at your age
• You’ve been dating the same person for x years and people want to know when you’re going to get married
• Because you’re already practically married, so what’s the difference?
• Because you found the perfect wedding dress and it looks really good on you
• Because your younger sister/younger brother is already married
• To get health benefits
• To get a toaster oven (you already have one, but like, a nice toaster oven)
• To get matchbooks with your name on them

Good Reasons to Get Married:

• Green Card
• Actually, that toaster oven one wasn’t so bad, was it?