We found that you enjoy being yelled at, so we’re going to keep it coming in another edition of “Tough Love Mondays.” Today we’re going to talk some sense into you about facebook and the problems it presents for you, post-breakup.
“I can’t stop checking my ex’s facebook. I just want to know what they’re doing!”
You need to STOP IT. You’re probably one of those people that looks up symptoms on WebMD and then decides you have Multiple Sclerosis or Lyme Disease or whatever. DO NOT be that person. It doesn’t matter what your ex is doing or who they’re doing it with. Use facebook for good instead of evil. Busy yourself by judging your old high school classmates and making fun of ugly babies.
“I get really upset when I see my ex posting new pictures on facebook.”
Quick question: Why are you still facebook friends with your ex? Don’t answer that! THERE IS NO GOOD ANSWER TO THIS QUESTION.
“My ex put up a status and I don’t understand what it means.”
You DO NOT NEED TO KNOW what it means.
“I saw that my ex became friends with some new people. I hate to think that my ex is meeting all these new people and probably dating new people too.”
Unfriend your ex. Immediately. You are acting like a crazy person. You may have rabies. Have you been hanging out with raccoons?
“My ex changed their status to “in a relationship.” I am devastated. It feels like a thousand hot knives in my chest.”
GOOD. You deserve it for not unfriending them.
“My ex has restricted their profile so I can only see what new “likes” they have. I notice that my ex recently liked George Takei. What do you think that means? Is my ex dating George Takei??!”
YOU DO NOT DESERVE TO OWN A COMPUTER.