We all have bad days. And sometimes, when you’re having a bad day, it just feels good to write your own, extremely realistic antidepressant commercial. Right? No? Just us? Okay.
A REALISTIC ANTIDEPRESSANT COMMERCIAL
Do you feel like your ship is sinking? Like nothing really matters?
You may have a medical condition.
Do you buy lottery tickets thinking that maybe, just maybe, they will somehow change your life for the better?
It could be depression.
Did you start off playing Powerball but after a while that seemed like too lofty a goal, so you switched to the state lottery, and now you’re actually buying scratchers on a semi-regular basis?
We can help.
Do you cry when you get an email from your mom with the subject “Adorable Sea Otter!” and then when you click on the link, it’s just a broken link? Not that you really wanted to see the picture, but you really just can’t handle any more disappointments?
You’re not alone.
Do you sometimes feel so lonely that you find yourself perusing the ‘strictly platonic’ personals section of Craigslist?
You might need medical attention.
Is the best part of your day when the Nyquil kicks in and you finally fall into a thick sweaty sleep for almost 10 hours?
A prescription antidepressant may be right for you.
Is the second best part of your day eating a bowl of soup for lunch?
Ask your doctor about Glowbutrin.
With Glowbutrin, you won’t have as many “bad days.” Like that day when you had a momentary bout of happiness when you realized, hey, at least you don’t have to file a tax return this year because you didn’t even come CLOSE to meeting the minimum income requirement last year – in fact, you only made 667 dollars before your unemployment ran out, only to then realize that this is not where you thought you’d be at this stage of your life.
You’ll feel hope. And not just that kind of hope like when you see that you have a new email, but it turns out to be an update from Linkedin and then you’re even sadder than when you thought no one was emailing you at all.
You’ll feel more like yourself again. Instead of feeling like a person who almost got a job as a receptionist at a hair salon, but didn’t end up getting the job because apparently they thought you knew Quickbooks, and you don’t know Quickbooks. You’ll probably never know Quickbooks!
Call your doctor now. Because you seriously can’t take it anymore.